Kerry GAA is reeling with the news that a second “doping” scandal has hit the county last night. Reports coming in have claimed that a young promising footballer has tested positive for a banned substance, spetanitsmosioumcaposide, also commonly known as Calpol.

The boy, aged 2, is believed to be related to a current member of the Kerry senior team, though this may not be true. However, the alleged individual, was once spotted in a pram near a GAA field, wearing an O’Neills tracksuit and was able to kick a size 4 O’Neills, off both his left and right. Sources close to the boy claimed that local GAA chiefs have already earmarked him as the next big thing in Kerry.

O’Neills were unavailable for comment when contacted but did say through their website that “rumours that one of our customers is a cheat, are unconfirmed. Also, we believe that he was not kicking an O’Neills, it was in fact a cheap imitation”.

Sources close to the GAA claimed - “We are taking this very seriously. The usage of Calpol in an uncontrolled manner is not tolerated. The fact he is so young and from Kerry, makes this a more serious offence. We want all our players on a level playing field”. It is believed that the player sneezed one day, apparently during a windy day in July and his mother decided to give him a spoonful of the deadly substance.

It is thought that the player in question, will now received a 10 year ban, but reports suggest he will be back in time to line out for his team’s U-12 campaign in 2018. The player in question was unable to comment on the matter, but it’s believed he is gutted and is planning a full appeal to the CCC over the coming months.

(Thank you Bon! x)