My ‘Difficult Catholic Childhood’ began when my mother covered my schoolbooks in wallpaper. The heavy duty Kitchen covering eat-your-heart-out-tubs-and-tiles wallpaper. Of this I’m convinced.

Your social standing in ’small/big babies’ (infants) was in inverse proportion to the amount of your readers/busy at maths/discover our world books etc. that were covered in wall covering or at best the more upmarket ‘brown paper’, a favourite of the children of farmers in my class (They have the last laugh. Road frontage!) We were nothings and never got invited to the best parties that involved bowling alleys and bouncey castles.

True affluence was of course when you had CLEAR covering on your books. Take note, children of the local doctor and such sported this cover and worked it well as they climbed the social ladder in the playground and marched into first class with heads held high.

Just let us not speak of the childer with a cornflakes box covering on their Ann and Barry.